Monthly Archives: June 2015

I sit quietly tonight listening only to the rolling clatter of thunder that was distant but now sounds overhead. The dogs squirm at the rumbling and a sparse bit of rain is trying to drum itself on the roof… I have a feeling the storm gathers outside!

I am too weary at the moment to go observe these happenings, even capture them with a photograph. The last few days have consumed me. I sit reeking of the smell of Forschner’s Hoof Packing – a distinctly tar like smell – that has permeated my hands and refuses to wash away. Horses are fed. Dogs are not, yet. I am not, yet, and don’t care if I eat or not (lunch was big enough for the whole day).

Now the house crickets (a special luck blessing, you know) are chirping as the light pales behind gray to black clouds. I feel peaceful. I feel okay.

I have been pondering the diversity of horse people. Really thinking deeply about how we run the entire spectrum of possibilities. I know riders and non-riders, Dressage fanatics, rodeo bums, Veterinarians, natural hoof trimmers, crystal healers and blacksmiths (and everything in between). We often choose to disagree; we often roll our eyes at techniques used by another – but we will hop up and help another horse peep at the drop of a hat without even thinking about it. We are connected by horses. Period.

The flies have become obnoxious out there as the rain builds, ready to pour on us (I hope!). Through the office bay window I see tails in motion and feel sorry for the “less endowed” skimpy tailed Vega, Sage and Gritz! Majic is able to swish across his entire body with merely two swipes!

Majic

We are all different. Horses, people… we are uniquely the way we each are because of the circumstances of our lives and the challenges we have faced. We have so much we can learn from each other when we choose to listen and observe. Tonight, I’m remembering people I miss and all the things they taught me; remembering horses; observing my horses and recognizing all the differences they express simply in how they accept the storm approaching.

How cool!

Into what sort of vessel can I pour my doubts? A life of charmed circumstances and a constant flow of love still cannot suppress the mind chatter of uncertainties…

I remove the fly masks from my horses tonight and watch the balloon-like rising of a silvered moon, nearly full, and wonder how I could ever entertain a doubt. But, I do. Once a day, on average, the thoughts of limitation or misdirection creep across my mind as welcome as thorns strewn along a path. I deny them. I banish them with new thoughts of gratitude and the assertion of my confidence. Next day… they return and laugh, no, fart, in my face with such disrespect and ulterior motives. Yet, I will prevail. They cannot bend me.

Perhaps our strength arises from such pestering of doubt – without something of this ilk to work ourselves away from, we might be slack and numb to the disruptions and ignore our lives into a lackluster existence instead of truly being. I feel the draw of sight setting low, of expectations beneath yesterday’s accomplishments. One can be dishonestly proud of oneself in this mode of functioning – or dis-functioning…

Instead, my doubts fuel the fire of decision and devotion. What I choose to embrace will not be discarded on a whim! The voices of disruption, even when they come from my own mouth and mind, have no power to circumvent dreams set into motion… the voices provide a counter energy to remind me of where I refuse to drift. Steady on. Deep breath.

Tonight is a night of lunar introspection. I have learned a lot from this mountain and this moon.