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There’s just no predicting…

Fireworks can be terrifying to horses. Some horses will just stand and watch them in awe. Some horses will run through fences and walls in panic at the sight and sound if them!

As we slip into July tonight, I’ve started popping bubble wrap around the stable yard to accustom my horses to the sound and I even do fast, “pop pop pop pop pop”s like a string of fire crackers. This actually helps them feel less reactive when, in four days, the real stuff starts going off.

I wish it wouldn’t happen. Living in the dry, high desert, fireworks are a thing of danger or delight, depending upon your circumstances and your species. One July many years ago, my landlady’s Irish Wolfhound took off in total panic from her yard and disappeared, all from the commotion and violence of neighborhood explosions. The next morning, our 80+ year old friend tracked the dog and found her, alive, hiding in an old silver mine in the mountain above us.

At that same time, my orphaned Arabian colt would stand in his pen watching, delighted as the rockets flew up and spewed colors against the black night sky. There’s just no predicting…

So, I’ve had neighbor kids shoot bottle rockets directly at my horses when I had Briarwood Dressage, my school in the valley. As the sheriff arrived that night, a rocket hit him in the head and bounced over to my shoulder before exploding. Needless to say, the parents of those children were in trouble. I’ve had neighbors, when I worked in EAP, come over and apologize when they realized the horses were scared and they took their fireworks further down the road. There’s just no predicting…

My colt who loved fireworks also loved to watch the spark spewing, crackling, roof high flames of the stone heating fire when we did sweat lodge. Yet, his cousin would leap in the air, spin, bolt and ask questions later when a group of autumn leaves would shuttle down from a mulberry tree. There’s just no predicting…

So, as I start my bubble wrap popping “bomb-proofing”, I recognize the familiar, also very “firecracker” sound, of our bird-of-paradise bushes’ seed pods exploding in the heat. “Hmmm”, I think, “Nature is helping me here”. These seed pods burst open in the day’s heat, totally at random, with a startling first POP followed by the sound of the pod striking a wall, even landing on a roof. It is fortuitous! The horses (and I!) have no warning and just have to get accustomed to the startling-ness of the pods. Nature knows. She is preparing us.

And, with assured regularity, come the 4th, we will have storms roll in with great sopping, black clouds ready to dump waves of water on our parched land. The fear of fires is allayed. There may be hail (ask me about the Electric Light Parade that I drove my pony and cart in last year – never to do again!); there may be Nature’s display of ground searing lightning bolts and spider vein flashes (again, ask me sometime about that parade!).

And, with no way to predict the ratio of fireworks to rain drops to neighborhood parties, the best I can do is turn on all my plastic bulbed Christmas lights that surround the stable yard and play some Jethro Tull to sooth our souls on the 4th. A little magnesium and Tryptophan in evening bran mashes; some lavender and frankincense oils diffused about the place and we will be good to go. Each year here at Dharmahorse, we’ve had pleasant, safe 4th of July’s. I have no reason to think it will be any different this year. I take a deep breath tonight and am simply grateful that I’m not driving my pony and cart in the Electric Light Parade!!

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Polished Pitch Forks

I was talking with a student yesterday, telling him about my experience at one of the country’s most respected schools of horsemanship. You see, in the mid 1970’s, I was one of 21 people from all over the world selected to ride for one scholarship at Morven Park International Equestrian Institute. This world renowned school is in Leesburg Virginia, near Washington DC. I was in Roswell, New Mexico…

I was writing articles for magazines: The Chronicle of the Horse, Horseplay, Dressage & Ct and others. I saw an ad for the scholarship and applied, giving Mr. deKunffy and some other instructors I had ridden under as references. I was around 23 years old, but had been operating my own school for 5 years. The move to Roswell came after our family’s corporation went bankrupt. My father’s alcoholism caused the bankruptcy and soon after, his death. I had very little financial resources and, after notification that I was one of the selected few, had to figure out how to get back to Virginia!

I could afford a bus ticket. Because we were required to bring a saddle, bridle, boots and helmet, I called the administration and asked if I could come without a saddle. They approved it. I rode the Greyhound buses to Virgina; boots, bridle and helmet in my lap in a tote bag, a backpack holding my breeches, clothes, swimsuit and flip flops. It was summertime. I sported a very dramatic farmer’s tan on my face, shoulders and 3/4 of the way up my arms.

MPIEI had arranged a shuttle from a nearby hotel, so that was my destination and, by taxi. I settled into my little room at the hotel the night before our exams began. I brought protein type bars and vegetarian “jerky” with me and planned to eat each supper somewhere cheap. There was no good place within walking distance, so I ate suppers in the hotel restaurant, using up my emergency money.

That first day we were assigned horses and divided into 3 groups, each to ride in the indoor school, showing our Dressage. There was some confusion because I did not have a saddle – I was put in the last group and a kind young woman from the second group offered her saddle for me to use. But, the staff had found a saddle for me and brought up a fresh, black, 17.3 hand gelding straight from his box stall. The saddle-offering young woman took her sweet, well mannered mount (a chestnut, 16 hand gelding) back to the stables. I kept telling myself to “BREATHE”!

My gelding was certainly gorgeous. He had a huge stride that took a little getting used to – but I had ridden ponies, Arabs, my brother’s Shire TB cross… I was adjustable. But this black horse bucked. Just for the fun of it. He had floating half passes at canter and a mean bronc inspired flying change. It popped me forward every time, but I kept on top of him and held back the need to break into tears.

That saddle was slick, so I had to move a bit to get back into position after every change of rein and Big Black Bronc took every shift to mean something and most of the time he decided it mean “crow hop” or “bury head and neck between front legs”. I stayed on! But I began to get nauseous thinking about the next day and jumping…. Crikey. We were required to continue with our assigned mounts. I decided to apply everything Mr. deKunffy had taught me, philosophically and equitation-wise and at least survive this.

When I went to supper that second evening, having now made a couple of friends, I watched the slender, beautiful, very tan girl from Florida flirt with the wait staff. She got a note from the chef asking for a date. She got free dessert. She told us that her dad was going to pay for her enrollment at MPIEI, but she was trying for the scholarship anyway – if she won it, she could use the money for a new car (yes, it was comparable and no, she did not win).

It was hot in Virginia and I was NOT used to the humidity anymore! I decided to take a swim to cool off and to enjoy the pool as the evening turned to night… the bluish lights around the pool made my very pale skin look ghostly white, except of course, where my face and arms were as brown as coffee from the southwest sun. Gorgeous Florida girl came to swim, too and she had a tan all over. I felt so self conscious, I went back to my room, took a cold shower and went to bed. I had to leave the television on to cover the strange noises in the hall.

Morning back at MPIEI had us in a classroom watching videos, hearing lectures and taking written exams. They had doughnuts and coffee and I devoured them. Then, we had free time to explore the stables. The barns were incredible. The arenas impeccable. The jump courses were dazzling, the indoor schools felt like churches to me. As I absorbed the beauty and tidiness, I began to notice that all the tools, hung perfectly in each barn’s aisle, were polished. I am serious, the shovels and pitch forks and rakes and hoes had all their metal parts polished. Mental note to myself was – guess who polishes these!

I am not afraid of work. But, sometimes excessive work would wear out my injured hand and I kept thinking that I should have told them about it…

Not to worry, the jumping exams seemed to seal my fate. Big Black Bronc was true to form. We jumped a 3’3″ course, then they put the jumps to 3’9″. The jumps looked small from on top of him (where I stayed, by some miracle of pure willpower), it was the giant leaping buck after each landing that made me gasp in panic. Tan face now pale and ghostly, I rode the best I could and even tried to smile.

We had coaching. They had their (internationally respected) instructors and head master evaluating us and giving us instruction. They kept telling me to lean back; lengthen BBB’s stride when he gets all “bottled up”; use more inside leg to outside rein. I did my best. In the end, BBB started looking quite brilliant and I was breathing and being more assertive. I learned a lot. I was glad I had gone and tried, but I knew I was not the winner.

The next day, I sat in the grass with the director of the Institute. The other riders seemed intimidated by him (he is famous) and I figured, what the heck, here is a chance to keep learning. I asked him about collection and compression; I asked him if he felt certain breeds were dramatically better than others; I asked him he thought the injuries to my hand were my biggest limitation. He said that, for any of us, our biggest limitations were “between the ears”. I decided to be unlimited.

We rode through jumping grids. I studied charts in the classrooms showing muscle structure and relationships to the human body. When I got back on the bus to return to New Mexico, I silently thanked BBB for showing me that I could conquer that fear and that I could learn from him how to ride him. I put my now grungy, sweat covered, Spanish top Marlboroghs, my bridle and helmet back into the tote… let the bus driver put my backpack into the luggage bin and I gathered change from the bottom of my purse to buy candy bars and juice at the bus stations all the way home.

I returned to Roswell feeling strong. The girl who won the scholarship was not one of the riders who could pay for it if not the winner and her Mom had come with her to be supportive. It was the right choice. I came home with new determination for my own school of horsemanship. And I knew that, at no point in my life, would my mucking tools be polished. And that was just fine with me.

 

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Wishes and Horses

Lots of talk is going on about the rich being the ones who can afford to have horses. Of course, horses make us rich (with love, experiences, joy, etc.) but I don’t think that’s what they are talking about!

My personal story is one of financial extremes and of finding ways to keep horses in my life experience no matter what. Only twice in my life did I have to give my horses to incredibly good homes because I was not going to be able to care for them properly. In those cases, I did what was right for my horses, period.

Now, at Dharmahorse, we are running on a “shoestring”, so to speak, and I find creative ways to support my horses’ Well Being. My feeling is that to give up the “newest/best” electronics and putter along successfully with my old laptop is no real sacrifice! And to get my clothes from Thrift Stores, books from Coas and barter lessons for hay just make for lots of adventures in the process. I don’t even want manicures (hey, I clean horses’ sheaths so fingernails need to be short), pedicures, hair styling or make up – although massages would be nice…

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But our horses get massages because of how hard they work giving lessons (it isn’t easy to be ridden by several different people each week) and I buy good shoes because my feet work really hard!

It’s a matter of priorities. I teach because I want to share what I learn and be a light of compassion for horses. I can have several great horses in my family because they help work to cover expenses. We are a team with a purpose.

As we gather great people around our company with similar philosophies and priorities, I find that my own joy increases and the energy expands each day. I used to be tired and now I get inspired. I used to get scared and now I feel excited. We can all express these positives in our lives – we’ve come this far. We are still kickin’! If we faced the challenges of the past and came through intact, surely what we face today (and tomorrow) cannot be insurmountable.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

We don’t have to be “rich” to have horses but we become rich when we have them! To properly care for them, we must prioritize their wellbeing and often get creative!

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A HORSE KNOWS:

if your intentions are honorable!

Approach a horse in a state of anger and watch him get away as soon as he can. Approach the same horse with admiration and a calm demeanor and see him ask for attention.

We have physical “body language” we use – we can be taught ways in which to influence horses as if we ourselves are horses, mimicking equine behavior and signalling (I wonder what they truly think about it). And we have, just by innate nature, the effect of communication by human posture and attitude. Horses are wise. They figure us out!

I personally believe in talking to horses. I tell them where I am when I’m mucking or approaching them because I do not wish to surprise them (horses don’t like surprises).

I believe in explaining things verbally and having a set of consistent words and phrases that connect me with my horses. Many a student says, “come on” to a horse when they mean “walk”, “trot”, “turn”, “move over”, “back up”, etc. Horses are smart – use the words for what you mean – “Come on” isn’t very clear to humans either!

And the horses that I teach on listen carefully to the instructions I give to a rider – sometimes my horses misinterpret things when I’ve been simply discussing the mechanics of the canter and will do a lovely depart just from a shifted sitting bone.

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Theory, Direction and Practice:

There are three ways that we, as riders, learn our horsemanship.

We must have THEORY. We find it in the books and articles from masters of old and in the writings of modern horsemen and women. With theory, we can visualize and conceptualize the principles we work to master as riders. Theory is all about the thinking mind and its connection to the ideals that resonate with one’s own ethics and relationship with horses.

We must have DIRECTION. We need the “eyes on the ground” from an instructor, clinician and/or judge to bring the dynamic perspective of observation – even mirrors in the arena or video taping of our rides can provide the practical means to find positive direction.

And we need PRACTICE. The riding itself, allowing the horse to be our supreme teacher, is an ongoing requirement for progress.

Without practice, theory has no innate value. Without theory and direction, our practice can run off the rails of balanced, connected communication. The combination of these valuable aspects will keep us in rapport with our horses and help us avoid confusion.

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Birds Fall

We’ve been stuck in violent wind storms for several days. Yesterday there was a bit of a break and I got the horses turned out in pairs for an hour each. As I removed Dream Cat’s halter, she went right over to an object on the ground. She nudged it and immediately returned to me, bumping me on the chest with her nose. Then she walked back to the object and looked back at me.

It was a poor dead baby bird, obviously blown from her nest to the hard earth. As tears filled my eyes, Dream Cat moved over to stand at my shoulder and curled her neck around me. I cried.

I took the fallen bird to the “burial area”. I was in awe of that sweet mare who can show more awareness and compassion than some people!

Her brother was the same. I had Dharma Gita boarded at a stable with 2 round pens and an arena to start him under saddle. The water tanks had automatic feeds on them to keep them full and became like lime green jello. They were never cleaned! Of course, that meant that I dumped and cleaned his tank every few days, having to disconnect hoses and reconnect them on the float. (I was asked to leave that barn, I also did my own mucking, with Gita lining his poops up from the back of his pen to front, looking disgusted until I took over – this while paying full board)

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One day, after dumping the water, I was leaning into the stock tank, scrubbing, when Gita pushed on my bum. I waved him away. He bumped me harder. Looking up, I saw a panicked expression on his face and he hopped over to the mud and put his nose down to it. Looking from the mud to me, back and forth, he got me to look.

There were a dozen little fish flopping, dying in the mud! I had no idea they had been in the tank (owners had put them in to eat mosquito larvae!). I scooped them up and dropped them into another tank of slime and water. They lived.

I hugged Gita over and over.

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Be a Hero

We have faced an entire day of howling winds and blowing dust that made our mountain – heck, even neighbors’ homes 100 meters away – invisible! I have spent the day and now into the night taking care of horses, dogs and people. The wind has whipped things from my hands (the hay to feed to horses, my Mother’s storm door, the mail and my truck door…) and made it more difficult to carry my sweet, elderly dog, Basil down the back step for her to potty.

So, after bringing her back up the step tonight, I let her walk around the house a while before blocking her in our bedroom for her safety. I went out to put a light blanket on my horse, Wally, as the weather turned colder tonight and when I came back into the house, Basil had found a spot of non-rug-covered tile and she was on her belly trying to get up. I lifted her carefully, kissed her like crazy and took her to the carpeted and padded floor of the bedroom. In tears. I felt just awful.

So I called my brother. I needed to talk, the day had worn me out and I felt like I had let Basil down.

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But Billy had a different perspective. “You are her hero!” he said to me. Explaining how it really is for her, having someone to find her within minutes and get her back on her feet. Someone to carry her outside with care. Someone to feed her the best of food with her Cetyl M supplement to keep her hips working. Someone who keeps her water bowl full and fresh…. he helped so much.

Tonight I’ve been thinking about being a “hero” to animals in need. Basil was dumped by the cottage I lived in many years ago. I have been responsible for her care and for cherishing her all her long life. All of my horses really needed homes – some were in dire straits, some from loving homes that could not keep them. My dogs have most always been rescues – humans that do these things are certainly heroes in the eyes of those who are saved.

So, Billy helped me feel better about myself tonight. We are all only human and sometimes we will falter, but a hero doesn’t have to be perfect. A hero just has to care, try, love and be there.

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Take Nothing For Granted…

Having had a varied and dynamic life, I do not take things for granted. I remember being hungry. Not just needing a meal, but being without enough to eat for days at a time as a girl in Florida, away from my family…. I worked some at a stable where their summer campers were fed lunch and I got to have a sandwich and chips on weekdays. I shoplifted 4 cans of tuna one evening from the market and felt so guilty. I’ve always been vegetarian, so the tuna made me sick on several levels – the guilt of taking it and the guilt of eating an animal. I was 17 years old. I called my Dad and he rescued me, in spite of his alcoholism – he came down and brought me back to Virginia.

To have a fridge full of fresh food is often the type of photo I put on my vision boards. The ability to fix a healthy meal and sometimes to “make something from nothing” became important to me. I do mindful eating, considering who grew my food, how nature created it, who prepared it, being grateful for all.

I lived in a “house” for a year that was a shack connected to a trailer (poorly so) where I had to climb on the roof and attach tarps to keep the rain from pouring in through the seam like a waterfall. Even then, I used muck buckets and feeders to catch the water. The wind howled through the house and water in a glass on the “kitchen” counter would freeze in the winter. I had no water heater, I used a metal rod (for heating water in a bucket for the stable) to heat water to take “bucket baths” with a ladle as I squatted in the tub. I had an oil filled electric radiator and my dogs and I stayed warm in the tiny bedroom with the door closed. We stayed cool with a window A/C I installed. I had no stove, just a crockpot and a hot plate. I had a refrigerator a friend gave to me. I had running water (when it wasn’t frozen) and I made myself happy most of the time.

My dogs and horses were with me (including Basil, my dog who is now 21 years old). I built the horse pens, turn out and shelters myself – digging every post hole by hand around almost 2 acres. I taught lessons there on my sweet horses. I owned the land and wanted to build a house someday, but the wind could get to 90 miles an hour and after one night with my dogs and I in the tiny radio room, terrified, unable to leave with the house being torn apart around us – I gave up.

My stories could be told for days on end. I was born into wealth and have seen both sides for sure. My first car was a Jaguar Mark 2, I had my own riding school at age 18 (my father sobered up briefly and set me up as a part of his corporation that then went bankrupt when he started drinking again and everything was taken from me). I had to rebuild another school years later on my own and I kept training horses and people to make a living as best I could.

So, now… I revel in a hot shower! I kiss my thermostat (I have central air!!!)! My horses have shelters and turn out and trees (the wind still blows, but my good old mobile home is ground set and I have lots of TREES). I cherish my life. I know my place doesn’t seem posh to others, but it does seem so to me – even though I grew up in a house with 6 bathrooms and a pool in the garden room! I am so grateful to have seen so many sides to life. I hope this has made me more compassionate and more appreciative.

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Lines of Communication

Riding and teaching lessons yesterday and turning horses out today, I have been thinking about how we communicate our desires and directions to horses through the reins, lead, line, etc.

We must become light, consistent, clear and immediate with our language of the aids through these lines… we will really miss out, though, if we neglect to “hear the horses” through these same lines of communication. When I am leading a horse to the field, I don’t just pull him along like a red wagon, nor leave him floating in the breeze like a bobbing balloon at the end of a string. No. I keep a light feel of the lead rope and listen to every signal and pre-signal he communicates to me as we walk down the lane. This is why I prefer all cotton, long lead ropes with trigger snaps – they just feel right in my hands.

When riding, I stretch my outside rein, feeling what the horse is saying to me. I keep an elastic, massaging inside rein (barely perceptible, the nuance of a tiny vibration…), allowing the horse to ask me questions and tell me how he feels about his balance and his pace.

On the longe, I’m not sending the horse out on a circle like a model airplane to zoom about and possibly crash – I am “riding” with my body language and listening through that longe line to every signal conveyed by my equine partner.

It is more about a conversation than it is about a performance, and, if we think and act this way, our horses sigh a sigh of relief about finally being heard.

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Healing Spaces

So, when my Mother was hospitalized a couple of years ago, I stayed 4 days and nights with her there. She came to my home afterwards and lived for six months in my bedroom. My brother had cable TV installed so she could watch shows and we could play the soothing “Soundscapes” all night. I slept on a futon in the livingroom, listening for any sound from her so I could help her to the chair potty by the bed or hold her glass of water so she could drink from the straw. I cooked the most healthy meals; gave her the meds and, for the first few days, injected blood thinners into her tummy.

After the six months, with my friend Jer’s incredible help, we scraped a foundation, built water run off berms, laid water lines and put in a mobile home so my Mom and Brother could move in on my property. With a good diet, Co-enzyme Q10, hawthorn berry, krill oil, B12 and many natural healers – my Mom’s heart was much improved (the cardiologist’s words) and last month, her prescriptions were reduced and one eliminated. Lots of healing happened and still is happening.

I now return to my office after checking in that same bedroom, my little 21 year old dog, Basil. She spends most of her time in that healing space because, if she slips on any tile floors, she can get stuck. I carry her down the (now padded) back step to the dog’s yard and usually catch her before she comes back inside – but she can get up the step just fine most days.

There are many crystals in that bedroom. There is a Himalayan crystal salt lamp, a blue light for calming and a green light for healing (my Mom has her own salt lamp and green light now in her bedroom across the yard in her home). I open the window for fresh air whenever it is warm enough and fill the room with Reiki. A white Tara thanka hangs above the bed.

Basil has a soft, fuzzy saddle pad (they are thin and easy for her to step onto) in the bedroom and livingroom for her beds.

I write about this tonight because I sleep in my bedroom now… again. With my small dogs, I delight in the feel of the room. When Basil needs me, I hear her immediately and can get her outside or offer her water… I love that bedroom. I love this life.

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