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Cluttered… and not

Posted on October 27, 2013 by stablewomen

Every morning when we wake up, we face ourselves. While our thoughts may be of work to be done, plans to be made or people to please; our first awareness each day is of our own embodiment. I have found that if I wake up to chaos – a jumbled bedroom, a messy bathroom, a kitchen in disarray – my awareness is naturally negative. If we begin each morning defeated by circumstances and our own thoughts, how can we expect to grow and accomplish things?

Simplicity can free you. I had a riding student whose business was teaching people to un-clutter their lives. When offered a brochure, she would read it and hand it back, making a note if necessary in her own little book. She did not even take on, momentarily, the objects that would become clutter in her life. Her car was clean, neat, simple inside and out. I can only imagine how her home would be! Her life, truly, must have been (and is, she is just no longer my student) filled with clarity.

After knowing her, I took a long look at my own “feng shui”, the energy of my home and stable. I found that I had, once again, accumulated tons of things I did not need, but felt compelled to hang onto… just in case. Now, I must quickly say that you have always been able to walk freely throughout my home and see every wall, window, piece of furniture, etc. But, the clutter was there on the surface and, with the picture of my former student’s probable abode in my head, I decided to find myself under the accumulation.

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A roll of trash bags in hand, I started at one end of the house and worked my way through… I only partially filled one large trash can, but I had opened up my world and the morning after, I faced a lovely bit of simple neatness. With 3 wonderful dogs sharing my home, I know it will never be spotless – but organized it must remain so I do not lose myself again under the insulation of clutter.

And insulation it can be. If you want to disappear and be “comfortably numb”, nothing works quite as well as just not caring, not cleaning and being a victim. Slipping quietly into the cocoon of the “setting sun world” where you do not have to shower, shave, dress or be productive. It can happen. Then, when your senses return, you see the sadness of it and look to the “great eastern sun”, the sun rising on your world and shining light into all the corners.

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You take a deep breath, then another, clearing the “mind” and “soul” clutter with each exhalation. You begin to see everything around you, the trees, the earth, the horses and dogs and the world you create as sacred. Then you see yourself as a genuine, good human being and you find the joy of a day spent in meditation with a pot of tea and a cheese sandwich and it hits you – life is its own answer.

As I walked about the stable yard this evening, I felt a deeper connection to my past. I was remembering past stables, past horses – but not in a regretful or comparing way – I felt a keen sense of it all being linked. As if the energy of all the things I have done, seen and been were just as real and immediate as what I was doing tonight. I felt more real. more valid, more present than I have felt in years. It reminded of my childhood when I would spin head over heels under water in my grandfather’s pool with a swim mask on; churning thousands of bubbles, then release and let myself float to the surface with those bubbles… watching them… being them. In those moments, I felt connected to all the water on the planet. It was as if all water everywhere was dancing with me.

Tonight, I want you to feel deep connections to the important things in your life. I found the clarity and inspiration of my meditation to be my catalyst. It never hurts to relax. It never hurts to just breathe. It is powerful to take a penetrating look directly at yourself and allow that vision to become something awesome.

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Visualize

Posted on October 21, 2013 by stablewomen

Vision boards are just pieces of card stock on which one tapes or glues pictures from magazines or just writes words or concepts about the desired future.

I’ve always made vision boards. We did it on bad weather days in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy. They are very useful focal points when we feel lost, uncertain and need to see through different eyes. And it is a profound thing to find a vision board from the past.

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I just did that tonight. In my closet was one from 4 or 5 years ago when I was renting, trying to care for my horses and build the foundation for a new business while, personally, I was crashing inside. My skin was peeling off of my legs from stress, I was heavy, weak, depressed and scattered. This vision board expressed the health and peace of mind I desired. It showed the desire for a home, a barn and a horse trailer. A full fridge (full of fresh, healthy, organic foods), gardens… my soul was craving all of this.

How stunned I am tonight having realized these very things in the few short years since making this board. I think everyone should make vision boards. Concentrate on them. Then pack them away to discover later and rejoice in the realization of how dreams come true.

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Blame it on that moon!

Posted on October 20, 2013 by stablewomen

My assistant instructor, some students, some parents and my brother all felt very funky today. It was a strange morning, all about finding care and loving kindness for each other. I remember a situation in my past where a leader was often quite upset if infirm interns or staff would come to a meeting. She felt vulnerable and I understand that. No one wants to get sick!

An industry has grown up around that concept. From over the counter drugs to vaccinations to prescriptions of potentially deadly compounds – feeding the fears of citizens has become big, BIG business in my country.

I spend a good chunk of my time making our own medicines through “phytotherapy” – healing with plants.

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I have a friend who also runs her own stable. She used to say that she could not afford insurance and she could not afford to be “out of commission” with any type of illness or injury… so she just plain stayed healthy. I use several modes of prevention when faced with dis-ease around me. I carry a little piece of Osha root in my mouth when I’m around large groups. Osha is anti-viral and keeps me from “catching” anything (it can cause a miscarriage, so is not for pregnant persons!). If I feel a sniffle or sinus rawness, I start taking oregano oil caplets and they do the trick in a matter of hours. I also “snort” colloidal silver into my sinuses, use the silver as eye wash, as gargle and will drink small amounts. I rinse my hands with it when I go to prepare my Mother’s meals.

When an intern would get a cold or flu, I would make elderberry syrup for them to sip on all day and the malady resolved itself within 24 hours. There are so many ways to boost our immune systems and to eliminate pathogens that are simply not based upon attacking symptoms. Symptoms are messengers. They alert us to what needs support and cleansing.

So, my brother had a long soak in a warm epsom salt bath. My instructor used the holy basil hydrosol. A student’s Mom took oregano oil and another mother went to get the oil for her daughter. I will be cooking elderberry syrup tomorrow and starting another batch of colloidal silver. We all find our own systems; our own paths to health. There are essentially 3 ways we can look at healing:

  • The Scientific Tradition uses chemistry to alleviate symptoms.
  • The Heroic Tradition uses herbs in a similar way to address the disorder according to the herbal effects.
  • The Wisdom Way nourishes the body to support its own innate healing.

There are times and places for all of these methods, but if we use Wisdom and support our own defenses while nourishing our bodies and the bodies of our animals, the other traditions are not needed very often.

Today I saw people I care about suffering in varying degrees. To me, the important thing was to share what I do know and what I have to help them, if possible. We all decided that huge full moon with her eclipse is partly responsible for some wonky-ness we are all feeling! It also reminds me to eat better, to stay healthier and to “stand porter at the door of thoughts”, keeping the mind numbing assault of dis-ease rhetoric at bay. It is no small task!

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Balancing Act

Posted on October 18, 2013 by stablewomen

I had a friend many years ago whose daughters were just crazy about horses. He and his wife ran their own business. They were gentle people together, but he could be extremely tough. He had grown up hard, on the streets. I remember his drinking. He gave my companion a bottle of special whiskey one time that I made into herbal liniment. No one appreciated that.

I cared about that family. He struggled to buy ponies for his daughters and they showed in an English competition that I was judging. It pleased me to see them and they were riding well. But his drinking at the show was a stab of memory for me of my own father, drunk at horse shows while my Mom kept me safe and sane.

This man would take speed to get going in the mornings and drink whiskey at night to be able to “sleep” or just pass out… I could imagine how his daughters felt; projecting my own memories of those childhood feelings.

One time I told him that he spent a lot of money trying to feel how I felt all the time. I could tell I had pushed a button, but his respect for me kept him from showing anger. You see, I just woke up in the morning and got going without any chemical help. And at night, I slept from the simple fact that I was tired. No drugs needed (and I consider alcohol a drug). I spent most of my young life trying to reason with my alcoholic father and trying to save my family. In most ways, I did save my family, but not my father who died at age 52 from the drinking, looking like he was 92. One gift he did give me was the insight into just how easily a gentle, intelligent person could become an addicted, pitiful one. Seeing it all from the “outside” makes an impression that cannot be gleaned from the “inside” as the alcohol dulls the awareness and one’s sense of self preservation.

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So, I am grateful to have the genuine experience of feeling tired or of waking up energized – all of it by life itself and not a chemical effect. But I will not judge anyone who has slipped into the depths of dependency because I could slip, too. We are all vulnerable because we are human. We are all also capable of healing even something so deep, also because we are human.

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Love is Perfect Kindness

Posted on October 16, 2013 by stablewomen

I’ve written about my life in the shack that I held together with tarps and duct tape – I’ve written about many aspects of my different, strange abodes through the years… Tonight, I had a profound flash of memory as I was fixing my supper. With Quorn (a meat substitute, protein source) cooking in my Wok, standing over the new black gas oven gifted to me by a friend whom I adore, I remembered the shack. It was a constructed “room” that I set up on my land, then brought a battered trailer to attach to it (not very successfully!). I had electricity in half of my home, water to a kitchen sink, bathroom sink and tub. I had no furnace, no water heater, no stove and no real roof between the structures (I use that term loosely).

I used a stick style, stable bucket heater to heat water in, yes, a bucket to take, yes, bucket baths… squatting in my tub and pouring the hot water over me with a ladle. You can get really clean, even wash your hair properly with one bucket full of water if you plan particularly well.

And with a few working outlets, I kept an oil filled radiator space heater going in the bedroom and one in the bathroom during winter. In summer, I installed an air conditioner in the bedroom with it sitting on a T post on the outside of the window, held in place with, well, duct tape. In winter, water would freeze on the table in the kitchen and in the pipes. I had to keep a tiny trickle going on the below zero nights (they were awful and scary). All during this time, I had my 4 splendid horses who had worked Equine Assisted Psychotherapy with me living just below my “house” in large pens I had built with an acre of turn out. I also had 3 dogs, one of which was my sweet, 20 year old Basil who is still with me today.

I held tarps on the gap between the “structures” with bricks, duct tape and roofing tar – I was up on the roof after every wind storm which meant at least twice a week. I lived without a human with me – alone I was not, because of my animals. And, I lived out at the end of a road in the high desert with few neighbors. It took courage. Stablewoman type courage.

I remember at night, returning from outside lessons or walking around the land, looking at the warm glow from distant neighbors’ windows. I remember crying, wishing for better for my family and myself. I remember cooking in the electric Wok. I remember cooking Quorn each evening and placing it on a salad, taking it to the bedroom to eat in the warmth or in the cool.

 

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I remember that bedroom was covered with futon mattresses on the floor where all my dogs and I slept and how I kept blankets on them at night, moving across the futon pads to pull covers up on little beings sound asleep… depending on me. I remember so much and I thank all my lucky stars for that experience AND for my life now. A life now that is better and yet, the same, because I am still cooking the same meal, loving different horses and dogs (and still loving Basil!) in the same deep ways and I remain totally grateful and full of courage. I’m a stable woman.

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Choices

Posted on October 13, 2013 by stablewomen

We have some hazy clouds moving in this evening. The hoof trimmer came and helped me so much by trimming hooves on 4 of my horses (in only one hour! – that’s how calm my horses are and how competent this young man is). I feel relief tonight… at least about hooves. Hank and Penny’s hooves are fine, they are the last ones I got trimmed myself before everything dried out and they became so hard again. My mind is troubled about Hank’s sheath. He bit it and made it bleed yesterday while trying to scratch himself. This morning it was quite swollen. The flies are causing the itch and irritation. One last gasp from them as the weather changes and the possibility of a freeze looms nigh. I have cold water hosed his sheath through the day and used Monostat ointment to soothe the itching; antihistamine cream would work, too. It will take time to heal while, hopefully, he chooses to leave it alone to do so.

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I can feel the changes in the air. I have a very early lesson to teach tomorrow morning and a trail ride with a friend before afternoon lessons. There is tack to clean and I have to finish my taxes before Tuesday… never enough hours in a day. But tonight I’m thinking about something my brother said. I told him that I no longer have a “day off”. He said that every day is a “day off” when you do something you love and I know what he means. He works a full time+ job in town that he does not love. He works hard. I work hard. But I choose my path and my “battles” in ways he just can’t when working for a boss. My wish is for my business to grow to support my entire family here, allowing my brother that sweet ability to choose a new path for himself. It could happen!

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Gratitude, always

Posted on October 13, 2013 by stablewomen

There is something to be said for getting so busy, you don’t have time to worry. Lately, just by letting go of the worry, I have found that things I was actually needing (but did not know how they would be procured) appearing as if by some wonderful magic. Really.

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I had made a wish list that included a tea kettle, bed sheets, a stall guard, head bumper, half chaps, full chaps, more riding helmets, saddles for the lessons, boots for Wally, some different sizes of girths… the list is long and some priorities are herbs for winter, probiotics, kelp, etc.

Over the past week I have been given, by dear friends – a tea kettle! Bed sheets! A stall guard! Head bumper! Half chaps! Full chaps! Girths and splint boots and a helmet AND 2 saddles! I had not told anyone about the things I was needing.

My friends understand the work we do here. They know how hard I work and that, right now, we are on a shoestring budget. What they may not know is just how precious their gifts are to us. They may not know how much they are appreciated… I hope they do, but I may not express it eloquently enough. They heal my doubts with their kindnesses.

So, tonight, I finish watching British comedies, eating beans my brother cooked and bread homemade by a student’s mother. I count blessings that cannot be measured while I brew a pot of cinnamon tea and finish my column for the local paper (hours before my deadline). The horses are fed with extra grass hay and large sloppy bran mashes to assure their health through the chilly night. My Mother and brother welcome a new, tiny , unexpected dog into their family tonight – brought by another student whose daughter found the abandoned pooch. This, just after the passing of their beloved Dachshund.

The magic is real. The drawing to oneself of what is needed can instantly occur if the doubt melts away… if the sense of lack and limitation is abandoned. If I get out of my own way, the life I love presents itself like an old friend or lover with a big smile of “what took you so long?”. Yup.

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Days end

Posted on October 12, 2013 by stablewomen

Such a long day for us today. Starting with a very good lesson on balance and posting the trot with a student on sassy Hank, it ends now, 12 hours later with feeding the herd in the soft evening light. I feel the Autumn. The day itself was spent enlarging the small arena here. It started as a round pen, jumbled together with what materials I could afford at the time.

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The round pen started out where my Mother’s mobile home now sits. It was relatively portable, so we moved it. The new location was smaller, so the pen became so, as well. After a year and a half, it felt like it was closing in on us! We have a big turnout / arena area, but often need two places to work at the same time.

So today, after having started the new enlargement of the little arena last week; my working student and her Mom and Dad arrived early and stayed late as we all put up fence. I devoured homemade, fresh, soft pretzel rolls brought by said Mom and kept an eye on my Mom who needs attention and help throughout the day and night.

Last night, I had run down to Lowes to get landscape timbers for posts and 2X3 inch planks for the fence rails. Having worked constantly through the day since 6:30 AM, I treated myself to coffee and an omelette at IHOP. It was already dark outside, so I relaxed at my brightly lit, tiny booth and watched the servers go back and forth… their feet work hard, too. The coffee carafes were copper colored and reflected the lights from above in curving lines that sparkled. I tried to eat slowly mindfully, then drove down the rest of the hill for lumber.

Night time can be strange. The store felt huge and hollow, the Ladies’ room was downright eery as I fished for my little flashlight (just in case the lights would go out) for a sense of safety. I needed two big lumber carts, had to go from one end to the totally opposite end of the store to gather materials, constantly adding up the prices in my head. I did well. I spent only what I had allowed myself and it turned out today, I had exactly enough with 4 poles left over to make cavaletti!

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Things here are not posh. We don’t really do posh. I’m lucky to keep my office and the adjoining bathroom clean for clients and friends to use. I’m not bad, just not particularly scrubbed most of the time! With the herd of 6 horses, now 3 dogs and my Mom to care for, I live a sometimes cluttered life. But no one suffers. That is a fact.

And now, we have a bigger small arena. I’m smiling a lot tonight. After the weekend lessons, I’ll be able to pay the hoof trimmer and buy white paint from Tractor Supply to paint the new arena fence.

Look for happiness at the end of each day. Expect joy at the beginning of each day. Touch every life you can with love. That is the way of the stablewomen.

Katharine.

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Less is more

Posted on October 6, 2013 by stablewomen

This evening I went out and removed the horses’ fly masks just as it turned dark and clouds to the west showed streaks of an ember red glow. I maneuvered around the stable yard by the faint light of tiny solar lamps scattered about like stars on the ground. Autumn is here. Strangely felt in the air and by the new light, it is my favorite time of the year. So much becomes clear to me after spring’s planning and summer’s hard work. I believe every year of my adult life I have realized that “Less is More”; meaning that the basic principles of good horsemanship bring results, the simple plans and projects work out the best and that health is maintained by supporting the bodies’ own innate systems of defense and repair. Simple. Horses bring that kind of realization to light.

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Being with horses changes people. Children learn patience and courage. They find lifelong friendships (with horses and with horse people) and touch their own dreams. Adults find compassion and strength while building new dendrites learning to ride, communicate with and understand these gentle giants.

Horse bring us to an examination of what we value and help us find gratitude in the small and simple things all around us. When horsemanship becomes a way of life, it is a rich life connected to the edifying and subtle realms of Nature where a look can speak volumes and a touch can heal.

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Map the Journey

Posted on October 5, 2013 by stablewomen

In your heart and in your mind you hold images of all the circumstances, places, objects, animals and people that you hope for in your life. The more you can envision them, the more you will resonate with them. As you become focused and can believe in the reality of your vision, it will unfold before you. You have to get the other stuff out of the way – The distractions and disappointments and the belief in lack and limitation. If you concentrate on these unwanted aspects, you map the journey to them. Surround yourself with images that remind you of your hopes and passions. Meditate on them by creating “vision boards” (cut pictures from magazines of scenes and things that you want to manifest in your life and glue them on a poster board to look at every day), notebooks full of affirmations (and journal to get in touch with your life) and watching videos of the things you love.

 

See yourself in desired situations no matter what you are experiencing right now. Find time throughout each day and each night to close your eyes and concentrate upon one sensation of your passion – the smells of that horse farm, new car, new house, ocean visit, etc.; the sounds of children, puppies, concerts, you singing and so on. As you connect with the sensations of your dream, your mind believes that the dream is real and, when your mind believes in it, the dream becomes real.
 
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Enjoy every step along the path. So often, we tend to look down the road for its end and miss all the splendor that surrounds us. Staying focused on your passion does not mean that you negate all else. You just become selective and choose your experiences to move you along with the flow. It is sad to waste a day trying to get on to the “next thing”…what next thing? Isn’t this moment enough?

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being”
-Hafiz

 

Shine the light of your own being down the path of your passion through the illumination of your smile. If you keep smiling, your face will convince your brain that you are happy.
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