I awoke this morning feeling overwhelmed. There is so much to do before the end of the month. I started thinking about who I really am… what I do. I am Gita’s eyes. I am my brother’s legs and his strength. My hands are for these horses; to feed and care for them (battered as they are, my hands are useful). My brain belongs to this Sanctuary, to figure what is needed for the horses and how to pay for it. I am Mark’s partner in this life… to be kind and supportive.
My soul belongs to me.
My mind works overtime, becoming twisted by things that go on in this world that I have no control over. My Buddhist life should help me maintain clarity through the muddied waters of life on earth, but somehow, I have forgotten that part of my being in the daily monotony of caring for so many. Certainly, I know that self-care must be part of my agenda. We all know that we can’t pour from empty cups. Rescuers and caregivers have huge cups to refill… all the time.
So I sit under the pine trees and watch horses eating breakfast. Touching the earth, I hear her saying how she, too, is a giver of care, a lover of all life, a rescuer of souls. Are we not all connected by the simple act of being kind? To each other, to all life, to this earth…
I used to care more about what I wore, how I looked, how others perceived me. Judgement swirls around us from sources beyond our control. Others see us through their own eyes. Suddenly I’m struck with “The Earth is my witness” and though the perception of this Sanctuary is important, I realize that those who truly see what we do are the ones who know us. I will never again be posh. My life is too busy and too important to worry about posh. Being overwhelmed has to with letting extraneous thoughts and outside influences intrude upon the actual need and focus of this life. I need to stop doing that.
Who am I? I’m just me.
Stablewomen 